Norwegian Air Plane Carrying 60 Plumbers Had To Turn Around Due To Broken Toilet!

I tell ya, you can't make these things up! I mean, what are the odds that a plane carrying  60 plumbers had to go back due to a broken toilet on the plane?!

"It is correct that DY1156 from Oslo bound for Munich was forced to turn back to Oslo because a fault was found with the toilets on board. The aircraft circled over Hedmark to burn fuel so that it wasn't too heavy to land," Fatima Elkadi, a communications officer with the Norwegian airline told Dagbladet newspaper, as cited by the Local.

But this isn't just the tale of a plane that didn't reach its destination. There's a twist. There were actually some 60 plumbers on the airplane with broken toilets, all of whom were on a business trip with their Norwegian company Rorkjop.

It definitely made for a hilarious story!

Zz.

Flatulent Cows Started Fire At Dairy Farm

You can't make this up.

Methane gas from 90 flatulent cows exploded in a German farm shed on Monday, damaging the roof and injuring one of the animals, police said.

Zz.

SPAM That Is So Bad, It Cracked Me Up!

I never read SPAM. I either report it, or I delete it immediately. But this one came and for some odd reason, I read it. It is so bad, I ended up laughing hysterically. So I'll repost it here for your enjoyment. WARNING: THERE'S SOME ADULT CONTENT IN THE E-MAIL.

The header of this spam is below. I've removed my personal e-mail address, and I also don't think .any of the info you get here are authentic, probably other than the 46.164.135.202 IP. So it doesn't do a lot of good trying to trace where this e-mail came from, unless one wants to waste time on it (and this really doesn't deserve that much time).

From Adriana21 Mon Jul 29 09:27:53 2013
X-Apparently-To: [removed]; Mon, 29 Jul 2013 08:09:26 -0700
Return-Path: <uzeydyenhur@djsnhdh.com>
Received-SPF: none (domain of djsnhdh.com does not designate permitted sender hosts)
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Date: Mon, 29 Jul 2013 09:27:53 -0700 -0800
From: "Adriana21" <zupvvsgdwfvr@jgbkhjhaslki.com>
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So here is the SPAM from "adriana".

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

Don't you just love it when someone you don't know call you "babe"? And I hate to tell you, Adriana, but your laptop isn't the only garbage there at your end.

In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

1) your boyfriend is SMART. He obviously could spot a loser.

2) You are effing near me? No wonder I could smell something foul in the air.


And Adriana babe, I didn't delete you off my Facebook, mainly because I never HAD a facebook page in the first place, EVER! You need to be less specific in your story here, because anything more and you sound like stupid fool that you are.

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally
can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe...

Oh, I'll show you the town alright. In fact, I'll show you the inside of our police station as well!

we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..
I really hope we get a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..

Adriana, babe, I bat for the other team. I would never in a million years want to have anything to do with you.

do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..

Well, it's not the computer's fault that you are a dumbass. As far as working at a bar, I don't think that will do. In fact, for you, anything beyond a door stop or a paper weight will be way beyond your capabilities.

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...

How am I going to chat you in your room if your computer is a piece of shit and it keeps crapping up on you?

if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont

Oh, I fee so special now.

wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im out
for now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Adriana

FREE VIP LINK ------>>

xoxo to you too, Adriana, babe. Unfortunately, your e-mail made it sounds as if you have a brain the size of a pea. So I'll pass.

Zz.

iPad Stand For Your Bathroom

OK, when I read and saw this in The Week, I was both envious and disgusted at the same time. It is an iPad stand for your bathroom, complete with a paper roll holder!

One part of me is saying "Oh my god, this is brilliant!" Instead of reading magazines, etc., I can now read whatever books/magazine I've downloaded, or even surf the web while I'm doing my business.

The other part of me thought it was repulsive, and even during such private moments, I will still be tethered to the rest of the world. Not only that, if you bring an iPad into your bathroom, you'd better make sure you wipe it clean before you take it out! I'm not a germaphobe, but ewwwwww!

I suppose this is no different than people who are already bringing their smartphones into bathrooms (especially at work and at shopping malls).

And oh, while you're at it (no, not while you're doing THAT!), don't miss this iPotty, also from the same company. You can potty train your child while he/she gets to play with an iPad.

 OK, after all this, I need to go wash my hands.

Zz.

Oh, He Missed A Spot!

So you spray-tan yourself all over your body, but you missed really the most obvious spot!

It does look rather odd, even comical.

It turns out that this isn't that uncommon, as seen in this video.



I guess many of them just don't want to spray their faces. But still, when you have that deep of a tan, and your face/head is pale while, it looks VERY strange!

Zz.

Hey Floridians, Stop Crashing Into Post Offices!

So the US Post Office is giving out some guidelines to Floridians so that they stop crashing into post offices in that state. And no, I'm not pulling your leg!

Local ABC affiliate WWSB7 reports that the tips include, "Avoid distracted driving; Proceed slowly and carefully when pulling in, and backing out, of parking spaces; Visibly check to see whether your foot is on the gas pedal or the brake pedal," and "Visibly check to see if the vehicle is in Park, Reverse or Drive."

It appears that many of our geriatric drivers in that state have been crashing their vehicles into post offices!

Zz.

Couple Accidentally Shot At Firearms Safety Class

I tell ya, you can't make these things up!

The Bedford County Sheriff's Office tells media outlets that Michael L. Deel shot himself in the hand with a .45-caliber handgun. The bullet also struck his wife, Michelle, in the leg as she was sitting beside him.

The incident occurred Saturday during a firearms safety class at a residence. The instructor, Thomas Starke, told police he'd left the room and then heard a shot.

Zz.

Man Has Heart Attack at "Heart Attack Grill"

As the story said, this is almost too bizarre to be true, but it is.

A man suffered a heart attack while eating at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas. Not only that, he had it after eating the "triple bypass burger"!

Millions of Americans watch what they eat. But one Las Vegas man has painfully discovered that where you eat can have a big impact on your health as well. In a story almost too bizarre to be true, a man suffered a heart attack after eating a "triple bypass burger" at the Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas, local affiliate Fox5 reports.

As comically tragic as that may sound, no one can sue the restaurant for not issuing fair warning. Its website proudly proclaims the menu offers, "Taste Worth Dying For!" (Fortunately, the man in question survived his attack.)

The good news is that this man is recovering. But now, will the notoriety of actually having someone get what they restaurant advertised will entice even more customers to it? After all, they are giving you what they promised!

Zz.

Shoplifters Got Robbed While Shiplifting At Grocery Store

Some time there is justice in this world after all, and certainly to these two losers.

Security personnel were in the process of questioning Korin Vanhouten, 47, and Eldon Alexander, 36, at an Ogden, Utah WinCo supermarket, accused of stealing makeup, energy bars and batteries. At the end of the interrogation, they left with a citation for attempted shoplifting.

However, they soon stumbled on to the scene of a successful carlifting, with the awkward discovery that while they were in the WinCo, someone--or several someones--had broken into their car.

I've always wanted to know how these perpetrators feel to be on the receiving end of the same deeds they do on others. Like pickpocketers being pickpocketed, a burglar's house got broken in, and worse still, a drunk driver having a loved family member killed by another drunk driver.

Zz.

Do You Have To Protest Against Fossile Fuel In The Nude?

I guess doing it in the nude gets you media coverage that would otherwise have been another ho-hum event.

Cyclist in Portland this past week celebrated the, wait for it, World Naked Bike Ride event, by riding bikes, you guessed it, naked.

World Naked Bike Ride is a globally observed event among hard-core bikers designed, at least ostensibly, to promote the use of the bicycle for transportation. But Portland cyclists have been especially adamant about making it another of the Pacific Northwest city's quirky traditions.

"This is just a way of drawing attention to the need to be more green and replace fossil fuels with natural power," said Ken Johnson, who was completely nude and body-painted grey.
.
.
.
The purpose of the naked rides, SHIFT says, is "a light-hearted protest against fossil fuel. ... A comment on the vulnerability of cyclists. Choose your message, ride with us! As bare as you dare."

So, other than to garner publicity, I don't see any direct reason why one would want to ride in the nude. Besides, do these people aware on how those bikes were made in the first place? You don't think fossil fuel was used in the manufacturing of those bikes, do you?

Come to think of it, maybe they are in the nude so that they don't wear nylons and spandex, etc., all synthetic fabrics that could have been made out of hydrocarbons. Hum... why not do a World Nude Walking event? Use of less material that could have been constructed using fossil fuel.

Zz.

It's The Little Things...

Sometime, it's the little things you do for someone, or your family, that gets you famous and appreciated. This dad started this as a prank to embarrass his son on his school bus. But it has now made him quite a celebrity.

And so began Dale’s hazing ritual that continued every day for the rest of his son's school year. The first day may have been the most shocking for Rain, but in the days to follow, the surprises kept coming.

Since the fall, Dale has waved at his son in 180 different outlandish costumes. The second day of school he wore a football helmet and jersey, and in the months that followed he opened the front door dressed as a blushing bride, a superhero, a Star Trek fan, Michael Jackson, and a giant chicken. One day he even lugged an old toilet bowl onto the street and sat on it reading a newspaper, stopping to wave as the bus rolled by.

It certainly help to have a sense of humor in such a situation.

Zz.

Not All 4 Wheels Came To A Stop?

Well, this is rather hilarious. A women got a traffic ticket because, when she came to a stop sign, it appears that, according to the police officer, a few of her wheels didn't come to a stop. Or at least, that's how one could interpret what was said.

I was ticketed recently for not stopping at a stop sign. I was sure I had. When I questioned the officer, he said all four wheels have to stop. The implication was that one or more of my wheels stopped and the others didn't. Is this possible?

Read the rest of the news article to see how this could be interpreted.

Of course, the question is, what will she do?

RAY: But if you have time, you can go to traffic court and ask him to explain how one or more of your wheels stopped and the others didn't. It might get a laugh from the judge, and he might reduce your fine. Or he might double your fine for being a wiseacre. Good luck, Linda.

:)

Zz.

Paul The Octopus Died

Paul the octopus, who gained fame and notoriety during the last World Cup tournament, died at the age of 2 1/2.

Paul enthralled millions of people around the world by correctly predicting the outcome of several World Cup matches this year.

His caretakers set him up to make predictions for a particular match by draping boxes in his tank with the national flags of teams that were set to play each other. The boxes contained food for Paul. The caretakers divined his pick by watching to see which box he opened first.

I wonder if he could have predicted his demise....

Zz.

Not Something You Want To See Near A School

An embarrassing typo right near a school. Not as bad as having drug dealers outside the fence, etc., but still....

Zz.

Fate of Paul, the Psychic Octopus

Now that the World Cup is over and he had done so well, the owner of Paul, the psychic octopus is pondering what else that creature can do.

Sea Life, which operates 32 aquariums across Europe, said it hoped to make an announcement on Tuesday about Paul's future. However spokesman Mark Oakley stressed that the mystic mollusc would certainly be staying in his tank in Germany.

"We've been inundated with offers -- from a betting conglomerate that wants to use him to predict sporting events to a Japanese fortune telling company that wants to use his image on the sides of booths," Oakley told CNN. "There have also been many offers from media worldwide for Paul's lifestory.

I'm surprised the owner hasn't asked it to pick a lottery number. Or maybe he has, and the octopus didn't do well? Maybe he's only good at sports betting.

Grilled octopus with a squeeze of lemon is delicious, by the way....

Zz

Pets Listen Better Than Husbands

A survey of pet-owning married women reveals a very hilarious revelation. A third of them says that their pets listen to them better than their husbands! But this also works the other way, although not as much. 18% of married men say that their pets listen to them better than their wives!

A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. Eighteen percent of pet-owning married men said their pets are better listeners than their wives.

Now, when do we get to do a comparison with pet rocks?

Zz.

Clinton Becomes Bush's Hand Wipe

OK, this is too hysterical to pass up, so you can look for yourself in case you missed it.



I'm not a big fan of G.W. Bush, but he has provided some of the most hilarious acts of any politicians since Dan Quayle!

Zz.

Stinky Passenger Kicked Off Flight

A passenger on Jazz Air was kicked off the plane for having a really bad body odor.

A man on Jazz Air, a regional airline in Canada that also serves U.S. cities, was reportedly kicked off a plane earlier this month because of his strong body odor.

"People were just mumbling and staring at him," said a woman who sat near the man, according to The Guardian, a newspaper in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, where the flight originated on February 6. It was a very uncomfortable situation, she added.

Another passenger described the smell as "brutal."

Just imagine if you have to sit right next to him!

One really has to smell really, really, BAD to get kicked off a plane. I'm surprised he didn't get stopped while going through security! What? We don't have odor detectors? What do you call those damn police dogs? Oh, I get it, those dogs ran the other way when this guy walked through security.

Smart dogs!

Zz.

Your Poo and Piss Are THAT Heavy?

So, the All Nippon Airways of Japan (a very well-respected airline, I might say, so this is not some rinky-dink airline) wants you to go to the bathroom before you board one of their planes. They do not want you to use the airplane's washroom during the flight, if you can. Why do they want you to do that? Is it because they have limited bathroom facility? Because they want minimal disruption to the in-flight service?

NO! They want you to go so that you'll make the plane LIGHTER! Your poo and piss are heavy! I'm not making this up!

"Asking passengers to go to the toilet (before boarding) is just a small part of the program," said spokeswoman Megumi Tezuka, which includes using recycled paper cups and plastic bottles instead of glass.

"We are making these items lighter -- and making the passengers lighter, a little bit," Tezuka said.

The airline estimates that if 50 percent of passengers relieved themselves before boarding, it would reduce carbon dioxide by 4.2 tons a month.

I suppose this may make sense in Japan where on average, people are smaller and not overweight. Here in the US, if everyone just stay away from that doughnut, why, all the airlines would make a huge profit from using less fuel in a year, with or without that pre-board bathroom break! :)

Hey, I just had a thought. Maybe they'll have a toilet seat and a urinal right at the gate and make passengers relief themselves before they board! :)

Zz.

What You Should Do When Pursued By Zombies

I will now perform a very valuable public service. I will present a clear instruction on what you should do to increase your chances of surviving when you are being pursued by zombies. And no, I don't mean crazed shoppers banging at the door of a Walmart the day after Thanksgiving, and you're the store manager.

When you're being pursued by zombies, run to a shopping mall!

Though the paper itself does not specifically refer to fleeing from zombies, it describes "the survival probability of immobile targets annihilated by random walkers." The conclusions suggest that the people trapped in a mall in "Dawn of the Dead" may be better off than the folks stuck in a farmhouse in "Night of the Living Dead."

Cassi found that the likelihood of survival when threatened by predatory random walkers is closely related to how complex the prey’s hideout is. The more twists and turns, the safer you'll be. In structures that are highly complex and irregular, the chances of the predator coming into contact with its target shrinks down to almost zero.

What better place can there be? You can hide from the zombies, eat a piece of Cinnabon, and get that 50% off on off-season sweater from JC Penney all at the same time!

Zz.