What You Should Do When Pursued By Zombies

I will now perform a very valuable public service. I will present a clear instruction on what you should do to increase your chances of surviving when you are being pursued by zombies. And no, I don't mean crazed shoppers banging at the door of a Walmart the day after Thanksgiving, and you're the store manager.

When you're being pursued by zombies, run to a shopping mall!

Though the paper itself does not specifically refer to fleeing from zombies, it describes "the survival probability of immobile targets annihilated by random walkers." The conclusions suggest that the people trapped in a mall in "Dawn of the Dead" may be better off than the folks stuck in a farmhouse in "Night of the Living Dead."

Cassi found that the likelihood of survival when threatened by predatory random walkers is closely related to how complex the prey’s hideout is. The more twists and turns, the safer you'll be. In structures that are highly complex and irregular, the chances of the predator coming into contact with its target shrinks down to almost zero.

What better place can there be? You can hide from the zombies, eat a piece of Cinnabon, and get that 50% off on off-season sweater from JC Penney all at the same time!

Zz.