SPAM That Is So Bad, It Cracked Me Up!

I never read SPAM. I either report it, or I delete it immediately. But this one came and for some odd reason, I read it. It is so bad, I ended up laughing hysterically. So I'll repost it here for your enjoyment. WARNING: THERE'S SOME ADULT CONTENT IN THE E-MAIL.

The header of this spam is below. I've removed my personal e-mail address, and I also don't think .any of the info you get here are authentic, probably other than the 46.164.135.202 IP. So it doesn't do a lot of good trying to trace where this e-mail came from, unless one wants to waste time on it (and this really doesn't deserve that much time).

From Adriana21 Mon Jul 29 09:27:53 2013
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Date: Mon, 29 Jul 2013 09:27:53 -0700 -0800
From: "Adriana21" <zupvvsgdwfvr@jgbkhjhaslki.com>
Reply-To: <rngeyxduioexf@ezuwofuwznxxlbz.com>
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So here is the SPAM from "adriana".

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

Don't you just love it when someone you don't know call you "babe"? And I hate to tell you, Adriana, but your laptop isn't the only garbage there at your end.

In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

1) your boyfriend is SMART. He obviously could spot a loser.

2) You are effing near me? No wonder I could smell something foul in the air.


And Adriana babe, I didn't delete you off my Facebook, mainly because I never HAD a facebook page in the first place, EVER! You need to be less specific in your story here, because anything more and you sound like stupid fool that you are.

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally
can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe...

Oh, I'll show you the town alright. In fact, I'll show you the inside of our police station as well!

we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..
I really hope we get a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..

Adriana, babe, I bat for the other team. I would never in a million years want to have anything to do with you.

do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..

Well, it's not the computer's fault that you are a dumbass. As far as working at a bar, I don't think that will do. In fact, for you, anything beyond a door stop or a paper weight will be way beyond your capabilities.

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...

How am I going to chat you in your room if your computer is a piece of shit and it keeps crapping up on you?

if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont

Oh, I fee so special now.

wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im out
for now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Adriana

FREE VIP LINK ------>>

xoxo to you too, Adriana, babe. Unfortunately, your e-mail made it sounds as if you have a brain the size of a pea. So I'll pass.

Zz.

Death Valley Rangers Tell People To Stop Frying Eggs

Some time, a good intention to tell people how bad it is can have an opposite consequence.

The Death Valley National Park authorities tried to show just how hot the temperature is there by frying an egg in a skillet using just the heat from the sun. The video was uploaded on YouTube, and that's when stupid amateurs from all over started flocking into Death Valley and attempted their own egg frying. Unfortunately, they created a mess.

“An employee's posting of frying an egg in a pan in Death Valley was intended to demonstrate how hot it can get here, with the recommendation that if you do this, use a pan or tin foil and properly dispose of the contents. However, the Death Valley NP maintenance crew has been busy cleaning up eggs cracked directly on the sidewalk, including egg cartons and shells strewn across the parking lot.

This is your national park, please put trash in the garbage or recycle bins provided and don’t crack eggs on the sidewalks, or the Salt Playa at Badwater. (nm)”

There are just stupid people out there, folks! They are the reason why the gene pool needs some chlorine.

Zz.