The Earliest Porn?

So what if you don't have the internet, you don't have DVDs, you don't have movies, you don't have magazines? What do you do for porn?

Why, you CARVE and make pornographic sculpture!

It appears that that's what our ancestors were doing way back then! Archaeologists digging in Germany have uncovered statues that may be pornographic in nature dated back at least 35,000 years ago, which makes it one of the oldest sculpture ever found.

The tiny statuette--just under 6 centimeters tall and 3.4 centimeters wide--was carved out of a single piece of mammoth ivory. It has dramatically exaggerated breasts and a detailed, enlarged vulva. The headless figurine is topped with a knob that Conard suggests might have been used to attach it to a thong or cord for use as a necklace or personal ornament.
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There's no way to know what the statuette was used for or what meaning it carried, although scientists theorize that it might have been used in shamanistic rites or was simply pornography. Anthropologist Paul Mellars of Stony Brook University in New York state says the focus on exaggerated sexual features fits with other artifacts found from the period, including phalluses carved out of bison horn and vulva inscribed on rocks. "It's sexually exaggerated to the point of being pornographic," Mellars says. "There's all this sexual symbolism bubbling up in that period. They were sex-mad."

You go, Mr. Primate!

Zz.