I Don't Get White Castle

No, I don't mean that there are no White Castle joints around where I live (how can that be possible in Chicago, of all places?). What I mean is, I don't get the concept.

I did not grow up with White Castle. In fact, I didn't even know what it is until I was in my 30's. It happened one fateful day. I was hanging out with a bunch of friends when someone suggested that we buy White Castle hamburger and bring them back to the house for lunch. So I said (now, don't laugh!) "OK, I'll take one, with lettuce, tomato, onions, but no mayo".

So of course, I got strange looks coming my way and they said, among other things, that you don't just order ONE White Castle hamburger. Of course, I was curious and asked why. Someone said that they are small. I then asked how small. "It's small!" was all I got. So I said, whatever, just buy me enough for lunch.

So a couple of people went to get the burgers while the rest of us waited and shot the breeze. It was when they came back that I got an inkling on what's going on. When I opened my "bag of burgers" and took out one of them, I initially thought it was a colossal joke. I mean, really! Burgers barely the size of tennis ball, with a thin layer of "meat" with holes, and a sprinkling of chopped onions? You've got to be kidding me!

You see, my idea of a burger is thick, juicy meat on toasted buns, and topped with green leaf lettuce, thickly-sliced onions and tomatoes, etc., not this "micro" burger that barely had any meat in it.

But then again, I now understand why people orders a dozen of these things. Still, why not just make a bigger burger and order just.... oh, I don't know.... ONE?

Of course, a number of my buddies at that time just ate it up! I learned later on that some people actually have cravings.... CRAVINGS.... for these White Castle hamburgers. Yup, I don't understand that either. There have been stories of people looking for a White Castle joint at 3 am in the morning because of such cravings, or people coming off airplanes after being away for a while and heading straight to a White Castle.

I have a hypothesis which I've checked a few times and no one has shown it to be wrong. The hypothesis is that if you grew up eating White Castle hamburger regularly, then you'll still want it as an adult. If you never grew up with White Castle burgers, then you have no desire for it, or indifferent about, it as an adult. My point here is that only if you got "indoctrinated" by it as a child will you have a desire to eat it. So far, everyone that I've met and where I've tested this on have confirmed my opinion.

And no, I haven't had a White Castle ever since my first introduction to it many, many years ago, and I have zero desire to consume one, probably for as long as I live.

Zz.